


it takes an ocean not to break (it’s a terrible love)

by SoloChaos



Category: Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza RPF, Real Person Fiction, Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Guilt, Happy Ending, Infidelity, M/M, Sexual Content, post-coital tristesse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:17:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9220280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: and i can’t fall asleep without a little helpit takes a while to settle down my shivered bonesit’s a terrible love and i’m walking with spidersJeff and Chip have been in love for years. The only problem: Chip's married.





	

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone reads this, please let me know what you think!
> 
> Title and partial-summary credit to "Terrible Love" by The National. It's a lovely little ditty.

`Hey,` Jeff’s phone reads. `U still in LA?`  

Jeff frowns slightly and texts Chip back. `yeah what’s up?`

`just found out I’ll be there for a day. Promo stuff. Want to get together?`

Jeff feels the corners of his lips tug up. `of course,` he writes. `can’t wait.` 

 

  

“Fuck,” Jeff exhales, his head falling back onto the pillows. He takes slow, careful breaths as Chip pushes in, his grip on Chip’s hair tightening and lessening, signaling when to stop or keep going. 

“This good?” Chip asks once his hips are flush against Jeff’s ass. He tightens his grip on Jeff’s hips, thumbs rubbing circles into his skin. 

“Yeah,” Jeff says. “Give me a sec, though. ’s been a while.”

Chip complies, mouthing gently at Jeff’s jaw and throat while he waits for him to adjust. Jeff runs his hands over Chip’s shoulders and arms, feeling taut, lean muscle underneath his fingertips. 

“Okay,” he says after a moment, and Chip kisses him as he pulls back ever so slightly and slowly pushes back in. 

They begin to build up a steady rhythm, increasing the speed in increments. Chip breaks their kiss when he starts to thrust faster, electing to rest his forehead against Jeff’s. His eyes are squeezed shut with pleasure, mouth slightly ajar.

Jeff isn’t getting as much out of this as Chip seems to be. His dick is caught between their stomachs as they move, and the friction from it’s nice, good enough to keep him interested. It’s not good enough to get him off, though, and Chip seems to sense this. He hitches Jeff’s legs higher around his waist and cants his hips up ever so slightly. 

 _“Fuck,”_  Jeff says with feeling. He catches Chip’s grin as his eyes flutter shut, and he digs his fingernails into Chip’s back as Chip begins to thrust with purpose. 

He can feel Chip’s teeth on his throat, nipping at his skin. He lets out a moan when Chip sucks at a particularly sensitive spot on Jeff’s neck. Chip’s thrusts are starting to become more irregular, and Jeff squeezes himself around Chip’s cock in encouragement. Chip hisses, kissing Jeff fiercely, hips stuttering. The kiss is brief, though, and Chip breaks away, mouth falling open as his body stills. Jeff watches him, transfixed.

Chip finally collapses with a groan, giving Jeff a sloppy but enthusiastic kiss. They remain like that for a while, Chip on top of Jeff and still inside him, kissing each other lazily. Jeff’s legs are still wrapped around Chip. He’s running his hands up and down Chip’s sides, relishing in the feel of warm, hard muscle underneath his palms. Chip’s cradling Jeff’s head in his hands, almost like it’s something precious.

Jeff’s enjoying this, but after a couple of minutes, he’s starting to get a little impatient. He bucks his hips up slightly, grinding into Chip’s stomach. Chip laughs into Jeff’s mouth.

“Patience is a virtue,” he says.

“I never claimed to be virtuous,” Jeff counters. “Come on, jerk me off.” 

To his surprise, Chip carefully pulls out of Jeff and grabs the lube. He gets out of bed and Jeff’s line of vision. Jeff can hear the sound of the bottle being opened, and then the sound of Chip coating his fingers with lube. Chip pushes Jeff’s legs apart and presses a finger into Jeff’s entrance. He finds Jeff’s prostate with practiced ease, his other hand gripping the base of Jeff’s dick. 

“Fuck,” Jeff gasps when Chip wraps his mouth around his cock. He fists the bedsheets, fighting the urge to buck up into Chip’s mouth. It’s a close thing, though, when Chip gives his prostate a particularly insistent nudge.

Chip pulls off with a pop and says, voice low in his throat, “Come on, baby,” before licking his lips and going back down on him. It fucking  _kills_  him when Chip calls him “baby,” and Chip, the bastard, knows that.

It’s not long before Jeff is gripping Chip’s hair in warning, too breathless to speak. Chip ignores him, sucking harder as Jeff begins shake, coming with a groan. Chip swallows, and fuck, that’s something to save and remember on some of his lonelier nights. Chip pulls off, licking any remnants of come away. His finger is still inside Jeff, crooked up and rubbing him gently.

“Ow, shit,” Jeff mumbles, jerking his hips back from Chip’s continued ministrations on his now-oversensitive prostate.

“Sorry,” Chip murmurs as he pulls his finger out and wipes it off on the towel Jeff’d put down on the bed. He gets up and pulls off his condom, tying it into a knot. His body is silhouetted against the light from the hallway, and Jeff watches as he tosses the condom into the trashcan. There’s a pause where neither of them move, and all Jeff can hear is the sound of his own heartbeat.

For some reason, he feels like crying. 

Chip seems to get that, though, and when he crawls back into bed, he wraps his arms around Jeff and pulls him close. Their legs tangle together, and Jeff presses his face against Chip’s chest and inhales. 

“I missed you,” he says, voice muffled slightly by Chip’s skin.

“Missed you, too,” Chip says, face buried in Jeff’s hair. 

Jeff is tracing patterns into Chip’s side with his fingertips. “It’s been a long time since we’ve done this.” He pauses, then continues, voice lower. “Too long, I think.” 

“Yeah,” Chip says. He doesn’t say anything else, choosing to instead quietly hum a melody Jeff doesn’t recognize.

They lie there, curled up in each other’s arms, for a long time. Jeff breathes in the smell of Chip’s aftershave and sweat and whatever else it is that makes Chip smell like… well, like  _Chip._  He closes his eyes but doesn’t let himself fall asleep. He doesn’t want to miss a thing.

Eventually, though, Chip rolls over and gets out of bed. Jeff sighs, sitting up. He rubs his eyes and opens them to find Chip pulling his boxers and jeans back on.

“You have to go  _now?”_  he asks, wincing at how needy he sounds. 

Chip shrugs, giving him a sympathetic smile. “Flight to catch,” he says, buckling his belt. 

“Please?” Jeff tries, because at this point, fuck his dignity. 

“I’m sorry,” Chip says, and the worst part is that he genuinely does look apologetic. “I  _really_  can’t miss my flight. It’s Patty’s birthday tomorrow, and I’m taking her and the kids to dinner and stuff. You know.” 

Jeff nods, suddenly feeling cold. He always does, when the subject of Chip's family comes up. 

Chip finds his shirt and pulls it on, beginning to button it up. Jeff gathers the energy to get out of bed, and he does, finding his boxer briefs and pulling them on. He grabs Chip’s bag and hands it to him once Chip’s finished buttoning up his shirt.

“Thanks,” Chip says, flashing a smile that makes Jeff a little weak in the knees.

Just a little. 

Jeff escorts him to the door, trying not to feel naked in just his underwear. Chip is saying something about his family or the weather or something like that, but there’s a low roaring in Jeff’s ears that makes it impossible to listen. He still feels cold.

He opens the door, and Chip steps outside. He looks fucking beautiful, with his hair mussed, top couple of buttons on his shirt undone, bag slung over his shoulder. 

Chip kisses his forehead. “I love you,” he says, and then he leaves. 

Jeff spends at least five minutes staring at the closed door. 

“I was afraid of that,” he says quietly. 

Jeff hasn’t seen Chip face-to-face for a couple of months. 

They call, nearly every day. Or they try to, at least, but they both lead busy, unpredictable lives. And, while Chip’s never told Jeff this outright, they have to be careful to keep Patty from getting suspicious. 

Anyways, between Chip’s work on his TV show and Jeff’s work on Harmontown, they haven’t seen each other in a while. So when Harmontown’s tour bus stops in Nashville, Jeff seizes the opportunity and invites Chip over without a second thought.

This means, though, that Dan and Chip will have to see each other. Jeff knows Dan isn’t quite sure what to make of his and Chip’s relationship. He’s told Dan about it, because Dan’s his best friend (besides Chip, maybe). Dan despises infidelity with a passion, though, so they don’t really  _talk_  about it. Dan just starts acting weird whenever Chip’s name comes up, and Jeff pretends not to notice, and that’s that.

Naturally, Dan and Chip don’t exactly “hang out.” They’ve met face-to-face maybe three times, and as far as Jeff knows, they were just “hello I’m so-and-so how are you I’m fine so the weather right okay see you later” type meetings.

So no one’s quite sure how to act when Chip stops by their tour bus when Harmontown is in Nashville.

There are a couple of polite “hello’s” and “how-do-you-do’s” exchanged, but not much else. Most of the crew pick up on the tension right away and leave, choosing to instead see the sights. Or whatever. Jeff wasn’t really paying attention.

Jeff’s never mentioned Dan’s discomfort to Chip, but a lot of improv is being able to read body language, being able to anticipate another person’s reactions. So Chip catches onto Dan’s… “deal” rather quickly, and they spend their time treating each other with near-hostility until Jeff finally has enough and drags Chip out for dinner.

It’s automatically easier once they’re away from everyone else. Jeff lives for moments like these, where the people who don’t know them think they’re a couple on a date, and people who do think they’re friends catching up over dinner. They’re both right, and Jeff thinks that’s his favorite part. The fact that they’re not lying to anyone.

Afterwards, they fuck in the backseat of Chip’s car, Jeff straddling Chip’s lap, back pressed against Chip’s chest. It’s fast and hot and unceremonious, but it makes sense. The car is cramped, and they’re barely undressed: Jeff has his shirt unbuttoned, and his pants and underwear are in a bundle around one of his ankles. Chip’s pants and boxers are at his knees, but other than that, he’s fully clothed. Nashville is hot, even after the sun goes down, and they both grow sweaty and out-of breath fast.

Jeff sort of feels like a teenager, watching the windows steam up while Chip clumsily jerks him off. The position they’re in isn’t really great for prostate stimulation, but Jeff doesn’t mind. He likes the closeness, and he likes hearing Chip whisper dirty talk into his ear, listening to him slowly growing more and more nonsensical. He likes having one of Chip’s arm’s around around him, keeping him balanced and keeping him close. He likes the feeling of Chip sucking bruises into the crook of his neck, too: feeling Chip bite his skin lightly, feeling him kiss the bite marks apologetically when he sinks his teeth in a little too hard. 

He comes before Chip does– a little unusual for them. Jeff gets oversensitive fast after coming, and since Chip likes coming inside of him, they usually have Chip come first and Jeff second. It’s a nice change of pace, though. For some reason, Jeff feels a disproportionate amount of relief when he climaxes. He thinks it might be because Chip is still inside him once he’s spent, but he doesn’t know why. He dismisses it, distracting himself by grabbing Chip’s hand and squeezing it as Chip sinks his teeth into Jeff’s skin and bucks his hips up, coming with a long groan.

They stay like that for a moment, clutching each other and gasping for breath. Jeff’s starting to feel uncomfortable, being in a hot car while another warm body clings to him, but he likes the urgent, almost desperate way Chip’s holding him. Also, his legs ache too much to move.

Eventually, though, they separate, Chip mumbling something about the condom. Jeff slides to the other side of the car, stretching his legs out the best he can in the cramped space. Chip is leaning over into the front part of the car, holding his used condom in one hand and rifling through the glove box with the other. He finds what he’s looking for– a packet of tissues– and closes the glove box before sitting back down. He wraps the condom in a tissue before setting both the condom and the packet of tissues down on the seat.

“You all right?” Chip asks once he’s done, pulling his pants up and buckling his belt. He already looks significantly more composed than Jeff feels.

“Yeah,” Jeff says, still in the process of trying to catch his breath. “You can go back. I’m just gonna…” He gestures to his sticky, semen-covered stomach. “Clean up a little.” 

Chip gives him a thoughtful look, but it’s too quick for Jeff to analyze it. “Okay,” he says, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jeff’s mouth.

Jeff takes a couple moments to catch his breath before grabbing the packet of tissues Chip left out and wiping himself off. He dresses quickly before getting out of the car, and he suddenly finds himself unwilling to move. The night air, while not all that cold itself, is cooler than the air in the car was, and it feels soothing on his skin. He stares at the sky without really looking at it, thinking about nothing. He feels… empty.

It’s a couple minutes before he can drag himself towards the bus. He’s about to open the door when he realizes he can hear Chip and Dan talking. To  _each other._  Against his better judgement, Jeff pauses and listens.

“He deserves more,” Dan is saying. “He can’t– he can’t just be ‘the other woman’ for the rest of his life. You get that, right? He– he’s too good for that. You can’t just keep… I don’t know, dragging him along.”

“I…” Jeff hears Chip sigh. “I know.  _God,_  I know. I just…” Another sigh. “I don’t know what to do.” 

Dan’s uncharacteristically laconic with his answer. “Figure it out.” 

Jeff decides he’s been sufficiently creepy and announces his presence with loud footsteps and an over-exaggerated opening of the door. By the time he gets the door closed. Chip and Dan are sitting on opposite sides of the couch, both on their respective phones.

He sits down, after a moment of consideration, exactly between them.

 

His brother’s birthday is only a few days after his and Chip’s anniversary, so Jeff is still a little giddy when he meets his brother for lunch. Bill begins talking the moment they sit down at their table. Jeff doesn’t mind; he fiddles with his ring as he half-listens to his brother.

“And that’s when I– are you wearing a  _ring?”_  Bill says, suddenly sidetracked.

Jeff nods happily, admiring the simple silver band adorning his left ring finger. He wiggles his fingers, appreciating the unfamiliar but comforting weight.

“Yeah,” he says. 

“…you’re not married.” Bill pauses. “Right?” 

“Right,” Jeff says.

“So,” Bill says, looking utterly bewildered.

“It’s, uh.” Jeff twists the ring around his finger. “It’s from Chip.” 

“Huh,” Bill says, still confused. “Are you… are you guys… engaged?” 

“Uh, no,” Jeff says. “It’s, uh. It’s a promise ring. For… faithfulness, and stuff.” A promise ring, not an engagement ring. Chip can’t promise him marriage, but he can promise him monogamy.

“Kind of funny, coming from him,” Bill remarks.

Jeff looks up. “What are you trying to say?”

“He’s cheating on his wife, and now he’s giving you a ring that tells you to be faithful to him,” Bill says evenly.

“I gave him one, too.” 

“He’s  _married.”_

 _“They’re not in love,”_  Jeff says, voice hard. This wasn’t exactly the way he’d hoped this conversation would go. “They haven’t been for a long time. The last time they had sex was nearly eight years ago. He might be married to someone else, but we’re monogamous.” 

“You guys have been seeing each other for years,” Bill recounts slowly. “You’re monogamous, you’ve exchanged rings, and yet he  _still_  hasn’t left his wife. Don’t you think there might be a reason for that?” 

Jeff stares at him. “I don’t have to listen to this.” He starts to get up, but Bill grabs his wrist.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I– I didn’t mean to end up talking about this. I… tell me about it.” He shakes his head, as if to clear it. “You seemed excited. Come on,” Bill says, starting to sound genuinely enthusiastic. “Tell me everything.” 

Jeff sits back down, bemused by the sudden 180 his brother just took. “Uh…” 

Bill seems to pick up on his confusion. “I just, uh, remembered when I got engaged,” he says. “You were so happy for me. I know you’re not engaged,” he quickly says when Jeff opens his mouth. “But it’s similar, kind of, and I don’t want to be a dick when you’re happy.” 

Jeff’s a little taken aback, but not in a bad way.

“I… thank you. It’s, uh, difficult, since only a couple of people know about… this,” he says haltingly, fiddling with his ring. “Because– because I’m excited. And I want to tell people about, y’know,  _everything._  Because I’m in love with him, and he’s in love with me, and…” He snorts. “I sound like a fucking teenage girl.” 

Bill chuckles a little. “Well, it’s refreshing.” He shifts, adopting a “teenage girl” persona. “Come on, like, tell me, like,  _everything,”_  he says, as though he’s straight out of  _Mean Girls._

Jeff laughs, and he does.

 

  

They’re making love in their hotel bed, Chip spooned up behind Jeff, their movements slow and languid. Chip’s lips are pressed to the back of Jeff’s neck, and they’re gripping each other’s hands, fingers intertwined.

They’re in a hotel just outside of Nashville, Jeff having flown in for a sort of joint birthday celebration. Chip’s birthday is early September, and Jeff’s early October, so they save money on airline tickets by celebrating each other’s birthdays at the same time.

Jeff’s having the time of his life. They have the room booked for three days, and so far, all they’ve done is make love. They can talk on the phone all the time– moments where they can actually  _touch_  are few and far between. 

Jeff kind of feels like a horny twenty something again, fucking as much and in as many ways as possible. They used the bed, naturally, but they also had sex on one of those uncomfortable chairs that can be found in every hotel room. They fucked on the desk, Jeff’s legs over Chip’s shoulders, and they blew each other in the shower. At one point, they even fucked up against the wall, Jeff’s legs wrapped around Chip’s waist. It was more like foreplay, though, since they had to finish on the bed. Chip’s still strong, though he’s not as strong as he used to be, and Jeff is neither easy to carry nor particularly bendy. Jeff even topped once, something they don’t usually do since Chip isn’t as sensitive as Jeff is. Jeff did his best to make it as good for Chip as Chip usually makes it for him, although he doesn’t think he managed to pull it off completely. Chip looked pretty pleased, though, so Jeff counts it as a win.

They can’t have sex the  _entire_  time, though. Chip’s refractory period’s nearly four hours, and Jeff’s isn’t far behind. It’s not unexpected. Chip’s in his fifties now, and Jeff’s no spring chicken himself, so they spend their refractory periods kissing and touching and sleeping, curled up in each other’s arms. It’s almost better than sex, in a way. Jeff gets to reacquaint himself with Chip’s body, running his fingers over soft skin and firm muscle. Although he hates Nashville for taking Chip away from California, away from  _him,_  he can’t deny that the show has kept Chip youthful. Nothing like a contractual obligation to encourage a healthy lifestyle.

Now, though, they’re between the sheets in their hotel bed, slowly rocking against each other. They’re not even using a condom, something that they both prefer. They’re both clean– they usually just wear condoms for ease of cleanup afterwards. But they have nowhere to go, and as crude and animalistic as it is, they both get off at the mere thought of Chip’s come dripping out of Jeff’s ass.

Jeff’s not even quite sure how long they’ve been lying here together, wrapped up in each other’s bodies. Not that he’s complaining. One of Chip’s hands is holding Jeff’s, and the other is splayed across Jeff’s chest, holding him tightly. He’s sucking bruises in Jeff’s neck, only pausing to whisper “I love you’s” ever so often. Jeff feels warm. Warm, and sated, and… loved. Jeff kind of wants to cry, but in a good way.

Chip’s close, Jeff can tell. He’s no longer holding Jeff’s hand, choosing to instead grip Jeff’s hips as he thrusts with a determined sort of purpose. Jeff doesn’t want to be passive in this, and he squeezes himself around Chip’s length. Chip lets out a strangled groan and buried his face in Jeff’s hair, hips jerking as he comes. Jeff’s only complaint is that he can’t see Chip’s face.

Chip takes a moment to catch his breath, body pressed against Jeff’s. It’s only a moment, though, and pretty soon he’s pulling out of Jeff and sliding over him so that they’re facing each other. He kisses Jeff as he wraps a hand around Jeff’s cock. He runs his other hand over Jeff’s thigh before slipping two fingers inside him. Jeff’s plenty stretched out and slick, so Chip meets no resistance as he finds Jeff’s prostate effortlessly.

Jeff kisses Chip back as best he can, but he’s finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate as Chip jerks him off. He finally gives up, tucking his head under Chip’s chin as he holds the other man. He comes with a low whine, squeezing around Chip’s fingers as he does so.

Chip pulls his fingers out before Jeff gets too oversensitive. Jeff feels him pull away for a moment to wipe his fingers on the sheets before settling back down next to Jeff.

The weird emptiness is back. He’d managed to avoid it so far, but it’s back. Jeff grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to focus on the warm body pressed against his.

“Mm,” Chip murmurs, completely oblivious. He presses his forehead to Jeff’s. “I love you,” he says, tangling their limbs together. He looks gorgeous, eyes slightly glazed, smile sex-sated. 

Jeff opens his mouth to echo the same sentiment, but.

For some reason, he bursts into tears instead.

“Oh,” Chip says, alarmed. He sits up, hands fluttering. “Oh, my god. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He’s patting Jeff down, almost as though he expects to find an open wound on Jeff’s body.

“No, no, I’m fine,” Jeff gets out as he presses his palms to his eyes. He can’t stop crying. 

He feels phenomenally stupid.

Chip is murmuring reassurances to Jeff as he frantically searches him for injuries. Jeff can feel Chip between his legs, carefully checking to see if he’s bleeding. He’s not, which Jeff could’ve told him, but he doubts Chip would’ve believed him.

“Can you– can you tell me what’s wrong?” Chip asks once he deems Jeff free of physical injuries. He sits back down next to Jeff and pulls him up into his arms.

Jeff clings to him, sobbing openly. Chip rubs his back, holding him tightly, running fingers through Jeff’s hair as Jeff starts to hyperventilate.

“It– it’s okay,” he hears Chip telling him quietly. “You– you’re safe, Jeff, I promise. It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe, it’s okay.” He tugs a sheet from the bed up and wraps it around Jeff, kind of like he’s swaddling him. “I love you,” he says, kissing the top of Jeff’s head and rubbing his blanket-wrapped shoulders. “You’re safe, okay? Just– just breathe. Uh, breathe with me. Can you– can you do that?” He starts taking slow, exaggerated breaths, trying to get Jeff to follow along.

“Y-yeah,” Jeff stammers out. He’s still breathing about three times faster than Chip is, but at least his breathing is starting to even out.

“What’s wrong?” Chip asks again, once Jeff has calmed down a bit. He’s rubbing Jeff’s back, carefully, like he’s a wounded animal ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jeff says, burying his face into Chip’s chest so Chip can’t see his face. His voice cracks when he speaks, which doesn’t really help him prove his wellness.

“Jeff,” Chip says. He no longer seems as calm as he was a couple minutes ago when he was helping Jeff breathe. He sort of sounds like he’s absorbed some Jeff’s anxiety and is now on the verge of panic himself. “Jeff, there’s  _obviously_  something wrong, and– and I can’t help if you don’t tell me w-what– what’s wrong.” He’s still running his fingers through Jeff’s hair, now in an almost frantic manner. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Jeff says again, but that’s not right. “No, I– I– I mean, there– there’s  _something_  wrong, but I– I don’t know what.” He’s still weepy, but thankfully, no longer hysterical. He wishes Chip was wearing a shirt so he could have something to hold in his fists. Faintly, he hears Chip’s phone ringing, but Chip’s ignoring it, so Jeff does too.

“Can you, um.” Chip pauses, clearly trying to think of how to phrase his question. “Can you… try to describe it to me?” 

“I…” Jeff takes a breath. “I feel… I don’t know. Empty.” He sighs. “It’s fuckin’ stupid.” 

Chip huffs a little. “Don’t say that,” he says. He’s petting Jeff’s hair, and Jeff gets the feeling that it’s more calming for Chip than it is for Jeff. “It’s not stupid if it’s making you feel this way.” His phone is ringing again, and Jeff can feel him twitch in annoyance, but other than that, he doesn’t move.

“I feel stupid,” Jeff says, because he does.  _God,_  does he feel stupid. He still feels empty, too.

Chip’s peppering Jeff’s face with kisses, which is a little weird, but it’s nice, too. “Don’t feel stupid,” he says. It would sound inane coming from anyone else, but Chip manages to sound perfectly sincere.

Jeff sighs. He feels a little better, but he can’t quite seem to shake the cold, empty feeling he has. He feels jittery, almost. He doesn’t know what to do.

Chip’s phone rings for the third time, and with a groan, Chip finally answers it.

“Patty, it’s really not a–” He pauses, and Jeff watches as his facial expression rapidly changes. “Oh my god. Is he all right?” 

Jeff uses Chip’s distraction to surreptitiously wipe his eyes and try to compose himself. He’s feeling more and more embarrassed with every second.

“I’ll be right there, of course,” Chip is saying. “No, don’t worry about it. Seriously, Patty. I’ll be right there.” He hangs up, and without another word, he’s up and grabbing his underwear from one of the chairs.

“My son’s appendix burst,” he says, looking harried as he pulls on his pants and reaches for his shirt.

“Oh, jesus,” Jeff says, thankful for the distraction.

“He’s in the hospital. I have to…” He pauses suddenly, looking at Jeff. “…go.” 

“Yeah,” Jeff says, because obviously. Chip’s kid is in the hospital. He doesn’t understand why Chip looks so conflicted.

He wishes he could stop crying.

“Do… do you want me to call someone for you?” Chip asks as he pulls on his shirt. “I mean, not that they can fly over here, but you know. Just someone to talk to. Dan, or… someone?” 

Jeff shakes his head, wiping his eyes frustratedly. “No, it’s okay.” 

“I really don’t want to leave you alone,” Chip says, biting his lip. “Your brother?” 

Jeff shakes his head again. “No. Really, Chip. I– I don’t want to talk anyone. I’ll be okay.” 

There’s a pause, and then Chip sighs. “Okay,” he says, wrapping Jeff into a tight hug. “I love you,” he says when he releases him. “I’ll call you soon, okay? I love you so much. I’m sorry I have to leave like this.” 

Jeff’s waving him away. “I get it,” he says. “Go be with your son, okay?” 

“Okay,” Chip murmurs. He presses a quick kiss to Jeff’s lips and gives him another hug before grabbing his bag. “I love you.” 

“Love you, too,” Jeff says. He doesn’t realize how dark the room is until Chip closes the door. He feels colder than before, wrapped up in an unfamiliar blanket on an unfamiliar bed.

He finds himself sobbing again. Fucking… abandonment issues? 

 _Fuck,_  he’s such a girl. 

The next day, Chip calls Jeff. He sounds worried, but Jeff isn’t sure whom the concern is for. 

He decides not to think about it.

 

  

Jeff ends up on the East Coast again, working on a TV show in New York. NYC isn’t all that close to Nashville, but it’s closer than LA is, so he accepts Chip’s invitation and heads down to Tennessee once he’s done shooting.

They can’t do anything, though, because somehow Patty found out Jeff would be in the area and insisted that he stay at their place. Jeff couldn’t figure out away to tactfully refuse her offer.

(“Yeah, because  _that’s_  not gonna be awkward,” Dan had said.

“Did I ask?” Jeff’d said with a scowl.

Dan hadn’t replied, which was weird, considering Jeff  _had_  asked.) 

He and Chip are both a little weird around each other, hyperaware of the other’s presence. Jeff’s terrified of slipping up, of grabbing Chip’s hand by instinct, by doing  _something_  incriminating, and he thinks Chip is the same way.

Patty, bless her, is blissfully oblivious. She dotes on Jeff, bringing him tea and asking him everything about the show he was just working on.

Jeff is feeling guiltier and guiltier by the minute. He doesn’t know how Chip’s managing to look so casual. He catches Chip’s eye, and Chip must get a glimpse of guilty he’s feeling, because he flashes Jeff a look that very clearly says,  _“Don’t fuck this up.”_ Jeff really is trying, but  _god,_  he hates lying to people like this. To their  _face._

“I can’t  _do_  this anymore!” he finally bursts. He turns to Patty. “I’m so sorry.” 

“About what?” Patty says, looking confused.

“Jeff,” Chip says, sounding careful, controlled.

“I’m sorry,” Jeff says again. He closes his eyes. “Your husband and I have been sleeping together for the past five years.” 

He can’t tell who’s angrier: Chip or Patty.

“How  _could_  you?” Chip blurts. He’s staring at Jeff, wild-eyed and fists clenching and unclenching.

“How could  _you?”_  Patty snaps, glaring at Chip.

Chip doesn’t seem to have a comeback to that, so he continues with Jeff. “It was  _my_  responsibility to tell her, okay? My  _right._  And you  _took_  that!”

“Like you would’ve  _ever_  told me,” Patty scoffs. “Five  _years,_  Chip.  _Honestly.”_

Chip’s starting to look cornered. “For god’s sake, Jeff!” he shouts. “How could you do this to me?” 

“That’s  _my_  line, asshole,” Patty growls. Jeff’s feeling even more uneasy, seeing the generally congenial Patty shaking with rage. “Christ, I know we haven’t been in love for a long, long time. I– I suspected maybe,  _maybe_  you were seeing someone, but I dismissed it because I  _thought_  you’d… I don’t know. I thought you’d at least have the decency to let me know you were sleeping with someone else.” She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just… tell me this. Do you love him?” 

There’s a pause.

“…no,” Chip says, but the lie is obvious.

There’s another pause, longer this time. Jeff can practically  _hear_  the tension in the room. He’s wondering why neither of them have actually raised their voices when he remembers Chip’s kids.

Oh, god. The kids.

Jeff can start to feel everything he’s done starting to crash down around him now. He can’t even imagine how Chip feels.

Chip looks to be on the verge of tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Patty sighs, looking more resigned than anything else. “I know you are,” she says tiredly. “I just wish you could’ve… I don’t know, talked to me. Maybe we could’ve gotten a divorce when the kids were younger, when it would’ve hurt less. But jesus, Chip.” 

“I’m sorry,” Chip says again.

There’s another pause, longer this time. It’s broken by Patty, who softly says, “I want a divorce.” 

Chip doesn’t even protest, like Jeff’d expected him to. “Okay,” he says quietly.

It seems to be a private moment, and after a minute of consideration, Jeff grabs his bag as surreptitiously as he can and leaves.

It’s not until he reaches the end of the driveway does the full weight of everything that’s just happened hit him. He sits down on the sidewalk, bag next to him, and stares into the night sky.

“Fuck,” Jeff tells the sky.

For all the shitty things he’s feeling right now, at least “empty” isn’t one of them.

Jeff honestly never thought he’d ever be as happy as he is in a life as clichéd or domestic as this one, but he is. _God,_ he is. 

It’s been nearly two years since Chip and Patty signed the divorce papers. He and Jeff live in Jeff’s LA apartment part-time, both moving back to the apartment Chip rented in Nashville when filming starts. They take frequent trips to Nashville even when they aren’t filming so Chip can visit his kids. They have a joint back account, and a dog, and they’ve even traded their promise rings for a proper engagement rings.

Sometimes it feels like Jeff’s heart is going to burst.

Jeff’s making breakfast, wearing Chip’s shirt because he  _can._  He’s just put the eggs on a plate when he hears Chip walk up behind him and wrap his arms around Jeff’s waist.

“Good morning,” Jeff says.

“Mm,” Chip says, pressing a kiss to the back of Jeff’s neck. “I was thinking,” he begins.

“There’s a first,” Jeff says.

“Oh, shut up,” Chip says good-naturedly, pinching Jeff’s side. Jeff squeaks, voice going higher than he thought possible. They spend a good two minutes laughing about that before Chip speaks again. 

“I was thinking,” Chip says again, “that we could take a vacation.” He pauses, and so does Jeff, because Chip sounds a bit more serious than Jeff thinks the suggestion warrants.

“Okay,” he says, a little wary. He pulls away from Chip’s embrace and turns so he can face him.

“You, me, and the kids,” Chip clarifies.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jeff says mildly.

The last time he’d seen Chip’s kids, one of his daughters had set her jaw, glared at him, and called him a “homewrecking asshole.”

Jeff’s not too keen on seeing them again. He doubts the kids are, either.

“Come on,” Chip tries. “They just need to warm up to you.” 

Jeff gives him a look, and Chip sighs. 

“Yeah, I know,” he admits. “Just… wishful thinking, you know? You guys are the most important people in my life, and I just… I don’t know.” 

“You want us to get along,” Jeff surmises.

“Yeah,” Chip says, nodding. “Yeah, I… yeah.” 

“I mean,” Jeff says, leaning against the kitchen counter, “I want us to get along too, but at this point, it’ll feel weird if they ever forgive me.”

Chip frowns. “There’s nothing for them to forgive you for,” he protests.

“You didn’t have an affair by yourself,” Jeff says, keeping his voice gentle. Chip still gets a little ruffled up sometimes when he hears the words “affair” or “cheating” or “infidelity” or whatever.

Thankfully, Chip doesn’t really seem to be affected. “Well, they’ve forgiven _me.”_

“You’re their dad,” Jeff points out. “Of course they’ve forgiven you.  _I’m_  the interloper.” Chip makes a face. “No, it’s true. It’s okay; it’s true.” He presses a kiss to the corner of Chip’s mouth, just because. “Yeah, I’ll go on vacation with you guys.

Chip’s look of excitement is quite a sight to behold. “Really?” 

Jeff can’t help but laugh at Chip’s look of sheer joy. “Yeah, you goof,” he says. “It means a lot to you. Besides, maybe it’ll help.” 

Chip presses a kiss to the corner of Jeff’s mouth. “It’ll be great,” he proclaims.

“Yup,” Jeff says. “Now, go walk the dog.”

Chip gives him a look of playful grumpiness. “You’re lucky I love you,” he says as he grabs the leash.

Jeff smiles as he gets out the bread for toast. “Yeah, I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I do not condone infidelity. I personally believe it’s a despicable betrayal of trust. I think the characters in this fic behave inexcusably, but unfortunately, I think they also behave realistically. This fic does romanticize infidelity, but this is because the fic is from Jeff’s point of view, not my own. (This is also why Jeff refers to himself as a girl in a derogatory way; it’s just his internalized misogyny.)
> 
> One of the tags on this fic is “Post-Coital Tristesse,” which is a fancy term for strong feelings of anxiety, agitation, and/or sadness that affect some people after sex. It isn’t explicitly stated in the fic, but Jeff’s feelings of “emptiness” after sex is actually PCT. The fic implies that Jeff suffers from PCT as a result of his emotionally unfulfilling relationship with Chip, but in actuality, PCT affects people more randomly. A lot of people experience PCT, although most people don’t know what PCT is, so I wrote this little paragraph sort of as a PSA.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think, friends!


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